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  • Writer's pictureFrank Zapata



September 09, 2021

The desire and determination to achieve success can be overwhelming. I wonder why that is. Pressure? Fear? Fear of success? Or maybe the steps one must take to achieve success?

If only life could come with a manual where I could refer to when help is needed. I sometimes wish I could put my ambitions on hold while I just numb both my body and brain for a quick commercial break. But my ambitions overtake my mind. And sometimes, those ambitions can get greedy because I WANT IT ALL.

I hate that in life, we can't do it all. We are limited by this game of life with rules and limitations. I constantly think about the fact that we don't have enough time in the days to do the things we love, but then time goes by so slow when the unenjoyable presents itself.

Lately, I want more than I can handle. I love too many things to just focus on one thing. And coming up with ways to cheat this Matrix we are in can get tricky. For too long, I had put myself in a hibernation mode of life where I just thought about one thing and one thing only. Then I had to wake up.

And that's when I realized that life comes and hits you from all corners. It can hit you with both good and bad options. But there are also so many options to choose from, and that's the beauty of it—the possibilities. But the problem is that you can't have them all, especially when one is playing catch-up.

When I was a kid, I was very greedy, probably until I graduated High School. I was great at hiding it, but I admit that I was a ruthless little kid deep down inside.

Fast forward to the present day, and I realize that those feelings are coming back, but experience and maturity are helping me maintain that greed in a composed manner. I hope it's not greed but instead a grand ambition for life. However, I hope that this ambition elevates my life instead of ruining it little by little.

There's always a fine line to everything, but one line I refuse to be a part of is the comfort line. Comfort is probably one of the worst drugs a person can be a victim too.

When I was a kid, the one thing I loved about the film Scarface and Tony Montana was not that he was so cool, but that he was ambitious and wanted it all. He would choose to forget the bad and find a way to obtain what he wanted.

I'm trying to say that I WANT IT ALL, and the scary thing is that sometimes I think I deserve it all. But yeah, I scale back down and think about what I have earned instead.

Life is a game, and I'm honestly just trying to find a way not to lose and stay in the game. But not just stay for the sake of surviving. I want to stay because I enjoy the game and the feeling of winning. I'm not there yet. But I will be.


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