July 8, 2021
Although I've been in LA for years now and can confidently say that it's home, I am still a transplant in La La Land. Now and then, when asked where home is, I still have the habit of saying Sacramento. I'm not from Sacramento, though. Folsom is my hometown, but not many are familiar with the town. And the few that have heard of it; typically associate it with the prison. Or Johnny Cash.
Yes, Folsom is host to the infamous Folsom State Prison, where Johnny Cash performed his live album in 1968. He even has a well-known song titled "Folsom Prison Blues." But there's more to Folsom than just that.
It's one of the safest cities in the US and a great place to raise a family. It mainly consists of the middle class and upper-middle class. There's the lake. There's parking all around and a left turn light signal that LA rarely offers. It's a place where kids are spoiled. Other than that, what is there? Nothing. Nothing, but memories.
I recently went back to Folsom for a few days, and the sad part is that I can no longer be happy in Folsom. I hadn't been back in over a year and quickly realized that I miss very little about the city. Don't get me wrong, Folsom is my childhood hometown, and I appreciate that I was fortunate enough to belong to that city, but this last visit felt strange. It's so weird to feel like a stranger to the town itself. If it weren't for family, I would not have any reason to be there.
Adaptability is a strange ability that a human being has. I remember the days when I first moved to LA. I was not too fond of it but loved it, but mostly hated it. I missed my family and everything familiar to me. I felt like the loneliest person in LA. I had my counted moments of excitement, but it took so much effort from me. But now the tables have turned. It takes a lot of effort to be excited about Folsom. Now, when I'm back in Folsom, I try to enjoy my time with my family, not necessarily the place.
I feel a bit blue when I'm in Folsom. This last time, I noticed that I felt blue because it's a prison that I sometimes miss. I realized that maybe I feel blue because it's not Folsom that changed, but life. After all, life was much more straightforward back when I belonged there. The years have just made me forget all the peaceful moments that Folsom has to offer. I'm much happier when my family gets to come to LA instead of me going to them.
I wouldn't say I like that feeling. It's almost as if there's resentment with Folsom. Maybe it's because I have a love and hate relationship with LA. I might try to go back more often if possible because I don't like that I don't enjoy Folsom anymore. Perhaps, my life is in such a rush at the moment that I can't afford to have it slow down, which is what Folsom does. It's a slow-paced city that closes its door at 10 pm for the most part. I'm no longer used to having a town be closed at that time.
The shitty part - I don't think I ever fully grasped the concept of what home means. I want to say that Folsom is home and mean it, but it just doesn't feel like that anymore. I do feel safe there, but it's no longer home. That makes me sad because Folsom gave me some of the most critical fundamentals in life.
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